When You Gonna Let Me Tap DAT ASS?

Hawkman13

New Member
So the disadvantage of having a girlfriend for 5 years is losing contact with every female in your existence. But heres what I got

Me:When you gonna let me hit that
Mitch:Oh baby you can have it tonight. Dont let Allie know though.
Me: Fo rizzle?
Mitch:Hellz ya sex muffin
Me:Fag

Lmao. This is with my Mom
Me:When you gonna let me hit that?
Mom:What??? Who u talking to. This is your Mother.
Me:Girl stop playing games. When you gonna let me tap that.
Mom:Jake. It is ur mom u little pervert. U bettt check the number your texting.
Me:Lmao I know its a joke thats online. Everyones doing it. Night love you.
Mom:Ur sick. I love you
 

tork_sd89

Baywatch
hgocasca said:
I like how that one faggot was the first to reply to the thread!

I texted my girl
Me
"what's up butthead"
Her
"reading about this chick that cut her husbands dick off"
Me
"You need that on me, no crazy ideas"
Her
"I know babe, I wouldn't do that"
Me
"question"
Her
"what? <3"
me
"can I tap that?"
Her
"you're an ass"
Me
"that a yes?"
Her
"no, that's a 'you're going to end up like the person I'm reading about' if you keep acting like an ass"
Me
"soooo, maybe later?"
Her
Sends me a pic of a carrot cut in half with the knife next to it
Me
"I'm not coming home tonight"
Her
"k"
Click to expand...
I heard about that chick! some asian chick caught her man cheating.. tied him to the bed, cut his dick off and put it in the garbage disposal lmfao!
 

XjoEnX

Active Member
Hawkman13 said:
So the disadvantage of having a girlfriend for 5 years is losing contact with every female in your existence. But heres what I got

Me:When you gonna let me hit that
Mitch:Oh baby you can have it tonight. Dont let Allie know though.
Me: Fo rizzle?
Mitch:Hellz ya sex muffin
Me:Fag

Lmao. This is with my Mom
Me:When you gonna let me hit that?
Mom:What??? Who u talking to. This is your Mother.
Me:Girl stop playing games. When you gonna let me tap that.
Mom:Jake. It is ur mom u little pervert. U bettt check the number your texting.
Me:Lmao I know its a joke thats online. Everyones doing it. Night love you.
Mom:Ur sick. I love you
Click to expand...
Eww dude, all jokes aside, my mother would not even cross my mind as someone to send that message too. Straight creepy.
 

Ay-T

Bathed In Blood
Me: Eyy girl so when you gonna let me tap that?
Person: When u get ur asshole checked for breast cancer
Me: Fuck you

me and my nigga LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 

covert_Con

Senior Ricer
hgocasca said:
I like how that one faggot was the first to reply to the thread!

I texted my girl
Me
"what's up butthead"
Her
"reading about this chick that cut her husbands dick off"
Me
"You need that on me, no crazy ideas"
Her
"I know babe, I wouldn't do that"
Me
"question"
Her
"what? <3"
me
"can I tap that?"
Her
"you're an ass"
Me
"that a yes?"
Her
"no, that's a 'you're going to end up like the person I'm reading about' if you keep acting like an ass"
Me
"soooo, maybe later?"
Her
Sends me a pic of a carrot cut in half with the knife next to it
Me
"I'm not coming home tonight"
Her
"k"
Click to expand...
The fuck?
 

Jabes

Member
OGstackadolla said:
ME: Wehn can I hit
busy man here
HER: Yeah right Patrick
ME:What you mean?
I might be ugly, at least I ain't got no money
not even a consideration?!
HER: lol lonely or what?
ME: noooooooooooooooo!
Very busy man, lots to do
HER: man where your girl at when youre talking like that
ME: none =(=(
so why no go?
is it cuz I'm Polish and you can't pronounce my last name?
HER
lmao youre so clever
ME
what you mean?
Well, I know I am, but still
what you mean?
you don't have to say my last name; it's ok
HER
what would i say then
ME
Oh yes, oh my god; oh f***!
and you can rearrange that if you would like
HER
i'm rolling patrick you must be dreaming
ME
o_Oo_O
da f***?
you calling me ugly?
Did you know my eyes are blue like the sky?
HER
no, you're not ugly
ME
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=100237553325660&set=a.156570404359041.35753.100000182463085&type=1
LOOK AT MOTHER f***ER, BEAUTIFUL
I drive a Gs-R - sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxy
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=100237553325660&set=a.156570404359041.35753.100000182463085&type=1
see
people love me
HER
i'm confused...who did you want to hit? you or your car
ME
I wanna hit, like my penis - remember 8th grade reproductive class?
HER
never took it...
ME
I can breeze through some lessons with you
I'll show you the ropes
:D
HER
I'm sure...
ME
so you no want?
busy man here
just say yes so we can move forward
HER
soo busy i can see that
ME
Wanna keep me occupied for a couple hours?
HER
hours? not so sure on that one
ME
one hour?
HER
right...
ME
15 minutes?!
What's with the hate I feel =(=(
HER
no hate here..
ME
So then that's a yes, finally?
15 minutes isn't very long though
we may have to get creative
HER
lets not and say we did....happy
ME
My penis isn't believing me!
HER
lol
ME
he's upset about the situation and wants to make it up to you
He's so 'hard headed'
Click to expand...
hahahha funny as shit
 

eiznekeM

New Member
hgocasca said:
I like how that one faggot was the first to reply to the thread!
I texted my girl
Me
"what's up butthead"
Her
"reading about this chick that cut her husbands dick off"
Me
"You need that on me, no crazy ideas"
Her
"I know babe, I wouldn't do that"
Me
"question"
Her
"what? <3"
me
"can I tap that?"
Her
"you're an ass"
Me
"that a yes?"
Her
"no, that's a 'you're going to end up like the person I'm reading about' if you keep acting like an ass"
Me
"soooo, maybe later?"
Her
Sends me a pic of a carrot cut in half with the knife next to it
Me
"I'm not coming home tonight"
Her
"k"
Click to expand...
Hahahaha!

And your story was pretty funny too.

OGstackadolla said:
Hahaha, I thought the same thing; some people can't take a hint. I read the same story; the b**** shoved it in a garbage disposal and clicked it on :shock:
Click to expand...
I read that last night too, it made me very squimish.

Hawkman13 said:
So the disadvantage of having a girlfriend for 5 years is losing contact with every female in your existence. But heres what I got

Me:When you gonna let me hit that
Mitch:Oh baby you can have it tonight. Dont let Allie know though.
Me: Fo rizzle?
Mitch:Hellz ya sex muffin
Me:Fag

Lmao. This is with my Mom
Me:When you gonna let me hit that?
Mom:What??? Who u talking to. This is your Mother.
Me:Girl stop playing games. When you gonna let me tap that.
Mom:Jake. It is ur mom u little pervert. U bettt check the number your texting.
Me:Lmao I know its a joke thats online. Everyones doing it. Night love you.
Mom:Ur sick. I love you
Click to expand...
First one funny, second one, well, uh, not so much.
 

jcrabb13

Registered Abuser
Hawkman13 said:
Lmao. This is with my Mom
Me:When you gonna let me hit that?
Mom:What??? Who u talking to. This is your Mother.
Me:Girl stop playing games. When you gonna let me tap that.
Mom:Jake. It is ur mom u little pervert. U bettt check the number your texting.
Me:Lmao I know its a joke thats online. Everyones doing it. Night love you.
Mom:Ur sick. I love you
Click to expand...
new guys will do anything to make a name for themselves...
 
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