sometimes people say things hurtful out of anger and not being able to communicate, but it doesn't mean they don't care. if it got to that point though, it's toxic and probably for the better that you guys take some time apart to figure out what's best for the both of you.
i get what you're saying, though. it does suck not having someone there to share things with, especially when you don't want to explain it to someone else because that person just "gets" you.
Working with people the way I do, I have to understand why people make the decisions they make; which is usually off of emotion over logic. I knew it would go this way and we had talked about it a long time ago where she denied it would happen. One of the reasons it wasn't working was because of this issue of lack of thought and consideration to the specific situation. When she was trying to damage me I told her, "You don't feel that I hurt the same so you are making sure I feel hurt on some level, so stop, please". It lasted for hours longer until she started to apologize and beg for forgiveness.
The problem has compounded, I have tried so many different things that haven't worked until I have up and held it all in til the point it was too much and there was nothing to help.
Now, on top of all this, she is trying to make it to where I can't see my son, who is my life. She sidesteps the question and goes on about how she wants me back; she is going to use him as a pawn and damage him in the process. And because he doesn't have a drop of my Polish blood in him, I have no rights, not being the biological father. IDGAF, that is my son; I love him more than I love anything. Who is going to teach him to be a man, and how to become a success, how to hustle, how to race? I know she doesn't have it in her.
Sorry; that was really long, but I haven't been able to voice my hurt and I needed to get it out there - even if it isn't read or understood, written word is my therapy