I've checked everything. I rewired all battery cables and grounds as well as alternator wiring with better, less resistant wiring and connections. There are no shorts or drains. I tested every single circuit in the entire car a while back ago.
That is what is pissing me off about it. I know it's not a wiring issue. The only other two factors are heat and liquids. The power steering pump is right above the alternator as well as the dipstick. But my car has zero leaks. I understand it could be rain getting in there since I don't have the engine bay undertray but it hasn't seen rain in about 2 months and I replaced it 18 days ago.
The only other alternator killer would be heat. There is no excessive heat or a huge turbo, o2 housing, or downpipe that is lingering dangerously close to the alternator. The EVO3 16G has plenty of clearance as well as the o2 housing.