What Larry the Cable Guy says about Missouri
>>
>>
>> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
>> September through May, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you
>> assistance and they don't work there, you live in
>> Missouri.
>>
>> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same
>> time, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
>> with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in
>> Missouri.
>>
>> If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of
>> KANSAS CITY for the weekend, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you measure distance in acres of farm land,
>> you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you know several people who have hit a cow
>> more than once, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you have gone from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the
>> same day and back again you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow
>> during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live
>> in Missouri.
>>
>> If you install security lights on your house and
>> garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in
>> Missouri.
>>
>> If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife
>> knows how to use them, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to
>> fit over a snowsuit, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If the I-29 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're
>> going 90 and everybody is passing you, you live in
>> Missouri.
>>
>> If driving is better in the winter because the
>> potholes are filled with snow, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter,
>> winter, still winter and road construction, you live
>> in Missouri.
>>
>> If you have more hours on your snow blower than
>> miles on your car, you live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you
>> live in Missouri.
>>
>> If you understand these jokes, and forward them
>> to all your Missouri friends & others, you actually
>> have lived in Missouri.
